Gratitude 🙏🏻

Advertisements

No! I am not a Feminist but I do believe in the strength of a woman!

Feminism is often described as a movement that seeks similar rights and privileges for women. But I ask, is that remotely possible? The roles women play through the cycle of their lives are numerous. She is a creator, protector and healer by design and now a provider, leader and a Philomath. Now, why was there a need to come up with this word “Feminism”? What was the need to start this movement? The answer is simple. Because in all our history books or shall I say in most, the ruler has always been a KING! Because, like it or not, we have stayed in a male chauvinistic society for a very long time now. Women felt the need to step out of their houses not because they did not do anything in the past. Work done from morning till evening went completely unacknowledged because it did not bring a penny back home.

The sole provider in the family was considered as the head thereby supressing women and limiting their life to the household chores. She was looked down upon as merely a follower or a support system with no contribution outside of home. Sadly, this is still the state of many women around the world till date. In many places, it’s even worse.

I’ve been asked a lot of times. Why do I write about women empowerment, feminism and women rights since I have never been exposed to such situations or been oppressed in any way. Well, I speak for all those who are not able to express themselves, who are denied of the basic right to voice their opinions, who are too scared to even feel empowered in any way or women who are made to believe they are destined to live under the mercy of men. Even today, in many places, women are denied basic rights to education, to pursue their dream jobs, to live their lives on their own terms, to go out, to make important decisions! For all women, who are made to feel small, weak or timid must remember that they are stronger than they think they are. Women have immense physical and mental strength and they should never forget that. The power lies within us! All we need to do is just believe in ourselves. This is not a fight against men but it is a fight for our rights, a self righteous fight for our place in the society. We don’t wish to be idolized but we don’t wish to continue being overlooked either.

Sydney Is Always A Good Idea 🇦🇺

Sydney, also known as the Harbour City is the largest, oldest and most cosmopolitan city in Australia with an enviable reputation as one of the world’s most beautiful and liveable cities.

Apart from being home to some exotic animals like Kualas and kangaroo’s, it is well known for its scenic views and gorgeous beaches which will leave you spellbound.

Sydney is so spread out that it can get challenging to cover everything in a few days and also confusing to pick and shortlist places to visit from the awfully long lists online. I believe a good trip should be a blend of sightseeing, indulging in the local food and stores and learning a thing or two about their culture and way of life unique to every country.

I have shared my favourite spots along with a few shopping destinations and tips. I hope it is useful for any newbies travelling to Sydney.

Sightseeing and Instagram pictures

➡️ Opera House

➡️ Harbour Bridge

➡️ Bondi Beach

➡️ Austinmer Beach

➡️ Grounds Of Alexandria

➡️ Taronga Zoo

Harbour Bridge
Darling Harbour
Bondi Beach
Austinmer Beach
Grounds Of Alexandria

Taronga Zoo

Sydney is renowned for its two most iconic structures in the world i.e. Opera house and Harbour bridge which are the busiest touristy spots as well. Explore the amazing cafes and art as you walk along the Darling Harbour. Bondi beach is also a hot tourist spot and believe me it won’t leave you disappointed. Unlike Bondi, Austinmer beach is slightly away from the city. The view is breathtaking and will leave you with a wonderful feeling of tranquility. Grounds of Alexandria is a beautiful place surrounded by the most amazing cafes and the most spectacular and interesting decor. Also, do not miss out on the zoo! This one is not just for children. Kualas are the cuddliest animals alive and I guarantee you will fall in love with them.

Local Shopping

Apart from the famous high end Australian brands like Zimmerman, Australia is home to some much affordable brands like Uggs, Forever new, Peter Alexander and Colette Hayman. My top shopping spots are :

➡️Queen Victoria street (QVB)

➡️DFO Mall. (Direct Factory Outlets)

Don’t forget to take back home Tim Tams (Australian made chocolate coated biscuits) which are a total treat! You can pick them up from any convenience stores and of course souvenirs from any local shops in Darling harbour.

Feel the city’s vibe and go out on a Friday or Saturday night. The city is full of great cafes and clubs. I suggest Argyle Bar, situated in one of Australia’s oldest buildings. It’s richly historical while maintaining a uniquely modern take. Also, a short walk from the bar has the most magnificent view overlooking the opera house and harbour bridge in the night ensuring you take the sweetest Australian memories back home!

Commit yourself to the practice of honouring where you are always (2 mins read)

We are often driven towards melancholy now a days. Some people grow sad because they constantly compare their situations with others. Everything looks better on the outside. The neighbours new car, his garden, his job, his house and sometimes even his wife ! What we fail to understand is that there is no end to greed and one must learn to stay content in whatever he/she has and every situation he has been placed in. We must value today since it won’t be the same tomorrow. Its extremely important to cherish that moment even thought it might not be perfect or even near to perfection ! I often hear people talk about the same routine. How they get stuck in the same humdrum jobs, same life! I think it’s of immense importance to break the monotony sometimes but at the same time I also feel that we must learn and practice to see things differently ! You must be wondering what am I talking about here. Let me explain this to you with an example…                                                                         There are two people …lets say Tom & Brad! Brad wakes up…eats breakfast ..drives to his office …finishes his work late ..comes back home …eats supper and goes off to sleep. He always cribs about his life! Tom on the other hand realises the importance of noticing and observing how no days can be similar. He wakes up, selects a different cereal everyday and plays a new track in his car to this work. At his workplace, interacts with his colleagues, talks about work and so many other things and common interests that he possibly shares with them. Talking leads to learning new things, opening new hearts, venting out feelings which is itself therapeutic in many ways! Sometimes also brings out “laughter” that is contagious ! Even when Tom does not go out for dinner or drinks but comes back home to his family …the pleasure of having dinner with them brings him immense pleasure. He therefore remains grateful for each day and chooses to stay content. I know that it’s not easy to be this ways. We don’t stay in a utopian world after all. I also understand that there are days that bring utter grief and sometimes leaves us in exasperation. But it’s of immense importance to not just remember the rainy days but instead focus on the silver linings in life! We must try and find happiness in the little things in life, try to stay happy with what we have ! Strive to be better but by only trying & not complaining . Whoever is reading this, I hope this little article brings about some positivity in your lives and you learn to live in the moment .  

Travelling leaves you speechless and then turns you into a storyteller !!

I woke up this morning feeling glum. I tend to feel morbid for no reason sometimes. Was it just me being crazy or was I missing home? I can’t say. But I woke up with my head heavy like I had a hangover without drinking last night. “Hungover with my deep thoughts” ! Let me tell you that’s worst than what a few mocktails can do to you. I try and control my thoughts for so long till they get ahead of me someday and consume me. It was happening to me again. Me and Sam were supposed to take a small road trip today. Damn! I was going to ruin his mood too! I was thinking of all this tugged in a blanket, awake but refusing to get up and face the real world! Sam woke me up with a cup of coffee and kissed me on my cheek saying “Morning love! Let’s do what you love doing. Explore a new island! I love love travelling so much but something was not right today. I told him il take a rain check. He looked at me in bewilderment “Are you serious”? I cancelled all my plans for you and you are bailing out on me? I felt so bad. I said” ok! Ok! We are doing this alright”! I wore a fake smile and went to change. I dragged myself to get ready like I had to go for a math lecture. Wonder why is this happening ? Why am I not happy when it was me who wanted to go there so bad. Are we humans so complex that sometimes we don’t understand our own emotions or was it just me? Am I the crazy one? I was thinking and hoping that it’s the first reason and not the latter. So, there I was ready to go. I played my favourite track and we started driving. After half an hour, I could see that the road was getting greener and greener with lush green trees. There is something about this place. The trees here are the most beautiful ever. I felt like they were casting an enchanting spell on me! I felt a sudden drift in my mood. Slightly better from meloncholy to “Dreamy”. There it was. I could see the beach now. We stopped the car to catch a good glimpse of the view from the top. And it was breathtaking. I think I am a water baby. The closer I get to the sea, the calmer it makes me feel. It was all good from here.               The beach is called Piha.  Piha is 39 kilometres west of Auckland city centre, on the Tasman Sea coast to the north of the Manukau Harbour, on the western edge of the Waitakere Ranges. The beautiful view of the beach was enthralling. The rocks known as the lion rocks overlooking the beach looked splendid. The water was cold and the beach was quite isolated since it wasent summer time. I could only see few people lazying along the beautiful black sand and surfers doing what they do best. It quite felt like a magical world out here. So much quietness and untouched beauty! My day was already fruitful. I knew where to go if I would ever feel glum again. I spend a good amount of time there and later stopped by a cafe with an amazing view of the beach to have a scrumptious mushroom pizza.I came back calm and happy and went for a late night movie thereafter. Could my day be any more perfect! I got a bit of everything I love! Whatever starts badly mostly ends in a spectacular way! Something I learned from my little experience. We must try and stay positive and believe that the good will always find a way to us because it always does especially when you least expect it. Life has a funny way of surprising us always! Like Carrie says in sex and the city “The universe may not always play fair but atleast it’s got a hell of a sense humour!” Also, if you often feel low for no reason like I do, travel …explore places …even if you don’t feel like! You will experience a sudden change in your mood and learn so much and evolve as a person. 

The Real Neat Blog Award

First and foremost, I would like to thank Rohini for nominating me for the real neat blog award. I was actually taken by surprise to receive this. Thank you so much for taking out time to read my blog and this nomimation     ❤❤❤👉Those participating should

 • Put the award logo

 • Thank the people who nominated you

 • Answer seven questions(You’ll find those on the blogsite of the person who nominated you)

 • Nominate any number of bloggers(linking to you blog)

 • Let them know by any comment that you nominated them

 • Ask 7 questions
  

👉My Questions from Rohini are

 • Who is the person you admire the most? 

 • I admire my Dad the most. He is my role model and my sole inspiration in life. He is always the first one I call whenever in trouble or need.
 • If given a chance, you would take a free trip to which country?

 • I would love to travel to Santorini in Greece. I love islands and I’ve heard that this place is spectacular. It’s next on my list for sure.
 • What would you like to be in your next life?

 • In my next life…no wait…in my every god damn life I would want to be a fashion designer. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do but coudnt due to xyz reasons. 
 • What’s your take on aliens visiting earth?

 • The world we live in is already so bizarre and weird that I don’t think it would make much of a difference if aliens visit earth too.
 • What is your favourite food?

 • I honestly don’t have a favourite food as such. I am very moody as a person and I love experimenting with food. So, I mostly eat whatever I feel like in the spur of the moment. 
 • What is your favourite clothing brand?

 • I love forever 21, Zara and H&M the most. The clothes are trendy and playful( just what I like).
 • If I would ask you to ask yourself a question and answer it right now, what would it be?

 • I would ask myself “Am I in a good space right now in life?” & my answer would be it’s only getting better with time and I am positive that “the best is yet to come!” 😇
 • 
 • 
👉My questions

 • What’s your secret desire?

 • Whats your take on love?

 • What is the first thing you would do if you get invisible today?

 • What is fashion to you?

 • What is your most favourite person in the world whose presence makes time stop for you?

 • What’s your favourite colour and why is it your favourite?

 • If you get a chance to get into any of the Netflix series, which one would it be and you would like to play which character ?
 • 
👉I Nominate

 • Amandathings

 • Johncoyote

 • Newmoonplan

 • Theonlysup

May Peace Be The Journey!! 

Peace! Peace! Peace!! I’ve looked for you everywhere. In the quiet isolated mountains and hilltops, in the lonely barren far away lands, in the mystical deserts full of deceptive mirage, in the breezy lush green gardens and at last in my quiet cozy room. I felt peaceful only for a while and then somehow the silence vanished away in between the noisy worldly cacaphonous sounds. I remember losing my mind one day and instantly decided to take a vacation. This time unlike me who loves being social and in larger crowds, I wanted to visit a peaceful place for the sake of the silence in my soul. I immediately remembered reading this book “Eat, Pray, Love” few years back and after watching the movie, I had made up my mind of following the same path. Thanks to my army upbringing, I was well travelled within the country. So, being an Indian, the first box was checked already. Also, I was grateful enough to be born to extremely enthusiastic parents who loved taking trips every year.I took a trip to Italy in 2012, so that was done too. Believe me..the book says the most wonderful things about Italy but inspite of that I felt that the book did no justice. I found the country to be better than expected and the food was even more scrumptious than described. Now, the only place left to be explored was Indonesia where the author finds love and rediscovers herself! I was excited for Bali. The serene beaches, the laid back life away from the mundane worldly troubles. Maybe the sea is what would bring me innermost peace. Ofcourse the place did not dissapoint me one bit. I went to the beach every day but there was still noise. One could hear people chatting, music playing, the sound of cool breeze and the gushing water. I was told that Bali is famous for water sports and I decided to do sea walking on my last day. It was something I hadn’t done before. Never been under water for 30 mins. My friend Bella who had accompanied me on this trip decided to sit on the shore making the most of her time alone doing what she loves most ..taking selfies and sipping her soda instead. Meanwhile I was excited. Always in for an adventure sums me up pretty well.. I wore my diving suit and Bella took my pictures. I still remember her shouting “give me a good one for Instagram!”Giggles! So,I boarded a boat that was supposed to take me to a ship in the middle of the sea all alone. Was I the only one? Now I was feeling scared. A rush of negative thoughts were crushing my excitement. What if I drown here in an unknown land, away from my family? What if I was never to return? Was this a risk worth taking? Should I do this just for my adrenaline rush ? Was I being silly? Then I thought, let’s be brave and do this. We reached the ship and I saw a few people waiting for their turn to dive under. I felt a sense of relief only to realise that this feeling was short lived! A girl just got out of water and starting throwing up. Oh gosh! I was scared again. Panic attack! No! Not now! I closed my eyes joined my fists and starting praying. I was told that I will meet a guy there who will give me short briefing about the do’s and don’ts since it was my first time and accompany me under water too. I saw a guy wave to me. I thought in my head. There he is! My instructor. I went to him and greeted him. I expressed my excitement to finally do this and learn a few things from him. He replied back in indonesian. I asked him, no English? To which he moved his hand meaning NO! My heart sank further! I had lost all hope by now. I told myself “it is what it is”! Don’t loose calm. They asked me to start taking steps down the ladder of the ship into the water. By now I was not thinking anymore. My life has always been dramatic, so be it. I took a dive in without much thought. My instructor came down with me too. The water kept turning bluer as I kept on going down under. I saw the most beautiful fishes in all imaginable colours along with beautiful live corals. They were magnificent. It was so calm yet divine. I had never experienced this kind of peace before. Words cannot describe my eternal bliss! With me sinking down , I felt all my heavy troubles being lifted, raised and released to an upper surface away from the deep blue sea. Even after I rose up and reached the ship, I felt a sense of calmness like never before. It felt strange because I am usually very anxious and hyper active. I stayed quiet for the rest of the day. It wasn’t the quiet feel of “the sadness of the silence of the lambs” but instead the “quietness of a relaxed peaceful and calm mind”. I listened to Bella talk during dinner time and experienced the most blissful sleep that night thereafter! Whoever has been underwater would know what I am talking about. For the rest of you, if you get the chance, go ahead and experience this tranquility! Have a happy, peaceful weekend filled with kindness and love! 💟

Honey …It’s Time To Forgive Yourself

We have all been there. That heartbreak caused by a friend, family or lover. The pain is always deep and our mind often gets hazy. I still remember my first heartbreak. My mind was cluttered with so many thoughts and old memories. The memories were not that painful. They were bittersweet. It was the questions that were killing me everyday. Everyday a new question flashed in my mind. I would try and analyse and analyse and over analyse the situation over and over again till I would come up with a satisfying answer. The next night, another question. “Why did this happen to me ?” “Why me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Am I so bad?” “I wonder what I did wrong?” “How could I not see this coming?” “I am so stupid!” “I am such a naive gullible fool!” For how long was I going to fool my mind to believe in what I was convinced on believing? To come up with new theories to satiate my soul. I finally gave up and ended up being sad, lonely and ultimately feeling small and worthless. The thing about darkness is that the more you feed it, the bigger it keeps getting till you are completely surrounded by it and it consumes you one day. Of course, heartbreaks are a part of life. Just because we survived once, dosen’t mean that It won’t happen again. We all come out of it, get rid of the demons inside our heads and are ready to become social again, to start trusting again, to start believing again till we get heart broken again. It’s a vicious cycle and no one , however perfect in life can escape it. So, what do we do? How do we make ourselves so strong so that the heartache is lessened during the as I call it “after being betrayed phase“. I just found my mantra and decided to share it with you guys. I say “FORGIVE YOURSELF”!! I know right! Two simple words. You must be thinking , “really” Is that it? I say yes. Try it once. Most of us die within ourselves each day thinking . We forget that we inflict emotional and traumatic pain upon ourselves while the ones who brought this on you might not even be aware of your suffering. So, I say .. forgiving yourself is the essence. It wasn’t your fault that this happened with you, you could have not seen this coming. You did no wrong. Once, you do this , you will reach a state of calmness in your head and the bad thoughts will reduce day by day. You will reach a point where you will be able to forgive the person who harmed you and free yourself from the shackles of sadness while learning from your mistakes too. Trust me on this. Train your mind to follow this practice and then just sit back and wait for the magic to happen on its own😇

Loss Of A Puppy

Every time I saw you, I thought to myself “Oh! You are such a cutie! Such a happy puppy! I could almost see the smile on your face every time you saw me! I loved going to the farmhouse because I knew I would see you there running towards me, wagging your tail. Oh! the immense pleasure you brought to me. Every time I tickled or cuddled you, I felt my vain worldly troubles go away. You brought me utmost peace and joy . I am so sure you had no idea you were such an eternal bliss to me. You were just being you and I loved you for being such a pure soul. You were my angel who chose fur instead of wings. When I heard you fell sick, I knew I wanted to take you home, to keep you with me, wrap you warm in my arms till you got better. I still remember, the day you ate poison accidentally, I decided to shift you from the farmhouse to my house and get you back to normal. You looked so tiny, weak and fragile. It made me sad seeing you like this. You were such a plump happy pup before. I still remember driving you everywhere to get you that antidote so that you made it through the night. You were strong willed and wanted to live longer and I being my usual self was hell bound to do anything in my power to make you stay. Our hospital trips became regular and I was so sure of saving you. The doctors were positive as well. I still remember those kind eyes. I thought you were named lucky for a reason because you will fight this battle and come out alive. Oh! I was out of town for one day. That morning away from you felt weird like my heart was sinking for some reason unknown. I decided to call home to check on you. Everyone said you were fine but I wasn’t convinced. I think I was intuitive about you. I still decided to stay optimistic. I came home the next day only to learn that you had passed away last morning . I felt my world shift. Losing someone so close brought me utter grief. I dint know what to do, what to say. I brooded within. I tried everything to keep you, only to fail one day. Lucky wasn’t so lucky after all I thought. It makes my heart heavy to think that we are all just powerless puppets within the hands of destiny. Our strings can be cut, lifted up, dragged down anytime irrespective of the efforts we put in. I am sure whoever has lost a dog or puppy would know how it feels to loose one. “Baby, wherever you are..hope you are happy and in lesser pain. You will always be alive in my heart and this blog. Xoxo“.

Create your own happy space (1 min read)

So when do you know that you need to walk away? When do you know that enough is enough? What’s the definition of enough anyways? Everybody works within their own limitations, level of tolerance and persistence . Some of us are not easy quitters while a few of us give in easily. Who ends up doing better job in relationships ? I know I am making relationships sound like work right now but isn’t it? Isn’t it a job with mutual efforts and hard work from both ends in order to sustain it in the long run? I mean a one sided effort is only futile. Coming back to the question of who ends up doing better..the ones who just go with their instincts and leave instead of understanding, adjusting, being the bigger person or the ones who never give up on the ones they love irrespective of how they get treated in return ? There can be a lot of arguments around this. Maybe the ones who give in easily do so because they are extremely emotional which is why they hurt easily and just leave heartbroken. Maybe the stronger ones are always willing to stay and make the relationship work at any cost. A second theory could be completely contradicting i.e maybe the ones who leave early are strong enough to leave and the ones who choose to stay and work around it are more emotional and weak that’s why they have a hard time letting go. The truth is that we human beings are so complex in our mind and so different from each other that nothing can be generalised . I often hear people talk “They are no longer together because of his or her fault”. But the reality is that we never know. Even after living with someone for ten years or so, you just never know who he/she is. So, it’s best to just know yourself instead. The most fascinating thing about we Homo sapiens is that unlike machines “We cannot be controlled or made to think or function in a desired manner!” If something has to end, darling! It will! If it is meant to be, it will stay. Life is all gray. There is no black or white. We human beings are also changing constantly. Finding happiness within ourselves instead of finding it in a perfect relationship is the key to being happy forever. Also to be okay if things do not work as planned because you don’t know what life’s planned for you. Sometimes life surprises you with better things than expected ,isn’t it

The Greatest Prison People Live In Is The Fear Of What Other People Think (2 min read) 

I had enrolled myself for a beauty pageant in college. I was an eloquent cream skinned brunette, which made me think that I had fair chances of winning. Let’s say I was way too over confident about myself. While at the peak of ones youth, we all tend to have foolish airs about ourselves. I was no less. I cleared the first and second round easily. Now, the last round was left. I thought “I am winning this for sure. This is definitely a cake walk for me!” The question answer round started. Simple basic questions were being asked like what’s your definition of beauty, what would you change if you were the president of the country..etc..etc. Then came my turn. One of the people from the jury picked up the mike and asked “Hi Alice! So, if you become invisible for a day, what would you do?” “I thought ..this was a little different question. But it’s okay il answer it.” So, this is what I ended up saying. I innocently spoke the first thing that came to my mind. “I would like to enter my friends house and hear what they talk about me behind my back so that I know who my true friends are ..who would stay with me through thick and thin. Thank you !” Ofcourse I lost. I thought nobody was prepared to hear honest and blunt replies. Maybe they wanted me to talk about helping the poor or bringing about a positive change in the world. You know the idealistic answers. But were they any practical? No! I went home and told my parents “I dint win”! My mom consoled me with chocolate ice cream but my dad was curious. He asked me about the question I was asked and on hearing about my response, he laughed out loud. I felt a little small. I asked him” what’s so funny”! He said ” you know it was a competition, so you should’ve sounded more visionary or like a fantasist if you wanted to win but I am not laughing at your innocent reply sweety !” I was taken aback. “What is it then? Dad?” He went on : ” Honey, you don’t want to get invisible and hear what others talk or think about you because you will be surprised or shocked to know how little they actually think of you “! Live in your bubble of happiness. The ones who are good to you, treat them with kindness. The ones who are bad to you, ignore them. Sometimes knowing too much can hurt too much too. So, judge no one and don’t try and be so inquisitive about what’s going on in others heads always. “You can’t control how other people see you or think of you. And you have to be comfortable with that!” That’s a big part of growing up which most adults also forget sometimes. Just work on yourself and always see the best in people. Also, it’s important to not take things personally. What others talk about you, is their reality not yours! I’ve always treated this as one of my most important life lessons and I hope you treat it like one yourself. Peace out and happy weekend guys!! 

Thank you 🙏🏻

I just realised that I have more than a 100 followers on WordPress. I want to thank you all for bearing with me. Writing is therapeutic for me and having people actually read my content, value and acknowledge my thoughts and follow my blog is really an icing on the cake. I couldn’t have asked for more. I really appreciate this guys…more than you may ever know. Happy blogging and thanks a ton again 💟🙏🏻

Hope : An overrated emotion (1 min read)

Hope..a word so close to home and still far far away from reality at the same time! They say hope sustains life. It encourages us to keep moving forward, to keep believing . When it comes to the work front, what is the use of hope without hardwork? I think It’s futile in relationships as well. So many poets have written elaborate poems and sonnets on how the lovers yearn and hope for the love of their beloved. Hope for her to return back one day..that she would realise his futile efforts and finally win her love, but does that really happen? Even the psychological connections/ telepathy fails to bring two individuals together if their thinking wavelength is not at the same pace. But still most of us live on hope or I would rather say “in denial”! I am not exactly an expert in relationships but I feel that people who drag you to the extent that you have to wait for them to return or in other words hope that they will return, hope that they will change one day is merely a waste of time. Love and stick to those who love you with their whole hearts..without any waiting period, without any false hopes! So what if he/she seemed so perfect for you or appeared to be your soulmate for some fragment of moments or even seconds in some cases. Just remember that nothing is perfect in this imperfect world. Settle for the heart that feels pure and is willing to accept you for who you are & dosent keep you lingering onto the vain word “HOPE“! 

Say no to Abuse (2 min read)

“He was just in a bad mood!”

“He is actually going through a lot at work”                                                                              ” He dint mean to do it”

” I love him a lot so I will wait for him to change!”                                                           “He loves me but doesn’t have a control on his temper!” 

” I have to endure it because I have no place to go and this is easier than struggling out on my own!”                                                                    You often hear these excuses from women on being asked “why are they still with the man who abuses them?” Abuse is not just physical. It can be psychological and emotional too in the form of regular patterns of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant criticism. Sometimes more subtle tactics like intimidation, shaming and manipulation. Generally, most women choose to stay in such relationships largely because of the following reasons:                            

“A low self esteem and confidence,

When they have no other place to go or have a financial dependency on their husbands, Scared of being alone,

To protect their children ,

To fake a normal family life in the eyes of the society ,

Abnormal childhood or dominating fathers ,

Some women get their sense of worth only after being with a man. ”  

I understand that these issues might be very difficult to cope up by a few of us but if we gather a little courage and decide when to draw a line….when to finally decide that enough is enough, nothing is impossible. If we do not hesitate to ask for help, even a little help of the right friends and family can give us a new, respectful life. Most of us are suppressed because of our dependency on men. Although it feels proud to see an alarming no of women working these days but still many of us choose to stay dependent instead. Most of the above mentioned factors are linked to being Independent. For instance, if you work and move out of the house everyday , you gain a sense of self confidence which in turn builds up a higher self esteem. Also you end up bringing financial stability to yourself and your child. Now coming on to the remaining points. I fail to understand why are we so scared of ending up alone. When in solitude, we (humans) are at the peak of our creativity . There are a million things one can do in order to channelise ones energy to do something productive. For those of you who have just been out of a toxic relationship, I say travel! They say one must travel as far as possible till you find yourself, till you let go off the thorn in your flesh. In this process one ends up meeting new people and making new friends who sometimes end up becoming companions for a lifetime. For those who believe in grieving alone for sometime or do not have friends and family, adopt a pet . They have magical healing powers. Whoever has a pet will be able to relate to what I am saying. There is nothing more blissful than coming home to a them. They would always greet you with the same excitement each day till their last breath unlike humans. They would never make you feel alone even for a second and are a great companions. According to a survey and to my astonishment, a lot of rich successful women also decide to stay in abusive relationships because of the fear of being judged in the society . What they fail to understand is that it’s us who make this society. If one strong woman, stands up for herself and steps away from a man who defy’s her, she will set the right example for many others who are too weak to take this step. I had once read an article on abnormal childhood . There were two twin boys who used to watch their father beat up their mother black and blue every night after getting drunk. But still, out of the two brothers only one blindly followed his fathers footsteps while the other choose to not do so. They witnessed the same behaviour every night and had the same childhood. Then why the change? Moral values and education is the answer. The other boy decided to not do the same because he was empathetic towards his mothers pain and decided to became a better human being unlike his father. Abnormal childhood can also be worked on if you reason your brain to question your deeds which most of us fail to do. One simple thought before going to bed about what wrongs you did and how to improvise on your actions can save many lives. This is indeed a never ending topic and I can keep going on and on but today the only thing I wanted to discuss was how to fight back the reasons why most of us stay being tortured. I often blame a part of this problem on the fairy tales who have always mentioned all princesses being saved by their Prince Charming because somewhere deep inside our hearts we are all waiting to be rescued by our perfect heroes. The tragic reality is that “Darling, you have to be your own hero because everyone is busy trying to save themselves“! Find your self worth first, only then can you make others see it. For all those who have gone through this at some point in their lives and are still depressed or lonely, find patience within yourself and don’t stop living! For all of you who are presently struggling in this situation , please gather the courage and move out of your situation…”Save yourself !”   

Soulmates!! (1 min read)

Since time immemorial …the concept of soulmates has been changing . The 14th to 17th century Renaissance artists & poets believed and preached that we have just one soulmate. They believed that once you find that special someone your world stops and you just know it. On the contrary the new generation writers, philosophers & now therapists say that there can be more than one and sometimes more than two soulmates in your life. The age of the romantics taught us to believe in pure, unadulterated love whereas in our times, we have been made to believe that it’s all a hit and try process. When u think you have found the one, give that person a try and see if it works. If it does…Voila! Good for you ! If not, wipe your tears, stand taller than before and move on. Sometimes we find the perfect ideal match in this process. Sometimes, we become so tired of this mundane process that we settle down with the one we get and decide to live with that someone just because we are comfortable in his/her skin and perhaps sometimes this road leads us onto so many heartbreaks that we decide on staying single for the rest of our lives! This era has confused us to the core. So much so that we don’t know what is love. What does this word mean…what is love anyways…the ultimate “one love”! Food for thought!!